His blood tastes sweet.

His blood tastes sweet

He doesn't see you in the sin
He sees You in His Son.
How many of you, when I say that, scratches the insides of you the wrong way?
I guess I just wanted to start off this blog with the revelations and heart awakenings I have been receiving from the Father over the course of this year, all being about His grace. I am struggling even writing this because i am thinking " oh my word, duh people already know this" Some of this may seem like a " yah.. That's the gospel Kayla.. Thats what we all believe. " but my heart is just wrecked and broken and I am sitting here crying as I type this write now because I really did think I knew this too, I thought I knew his love more than how I really did, i am heartbroken to how much I tried to spill out his love and love other people through what I didn't really grasp the full picture of. I still don't, I am still learning this, we always will be learning this  and as we all still learn to recieve the gospel for ourselves, I just invite you into this as you participate in it with me, as we learn more and more the true meaning of the gospel, his grace and our position as sons and daughters of this inheritance.

The biggest question from our Father right now that has been spoken into my heart is "Are you accepting grace from me for everything you are and are enduring right now??"
And then from that He would say

"you will receive more than ever from me when you are needing my grace ; allowing yourself to need it, so that you can want it and ask for it that much more. Blessed are the poor in spirit! "Don't be afraid to be needy!
You are the most beautiful when all of you is needing, longing and accepting my grace"
This sounds so easy and of course we are all like " yes, that's what your supposed to believe if your a Christian.. Grace."
But for so long ( I have been a Christian since I was 9 years old)
I have knew grace in my head but there was a disconnect from my head to my heart.
It's crazy how much we can live so much of our Christian lives as orphans rather than as sons and daughters .  Wow, we are sons and daughters of the promise! ( Galatians 4:1-7) When the Father sent his son to set us free, he really did want to set us free from everything! And he brought us from a kingdom of darkness where we need to strive to earn his love to a kingdom of light where we can know who we are in him, our position in heaven ( Ephesians 1)
If I know I am a daughter, it should be so easy for my Dad to constantly wash me with His grace, to know that even though I do sin because I am still in my earthly body and living in this world He sees me as if I am sitting right now up there with Him as I am IN his son.
But it's not. It is so hard to keep that continual picture of myself and understanding of my standings with the Father, especially when I am right smack dab in the middle of my gross sticky and yucky sin and that's all I see.
He has said these things to my heart and I hope from this he can affirm how he has been saying these things to you'rs:
"My blood is so sweet, it is supposed to taste so good, it shouldn't be a sword to swallow, it shouldn't feel like dissatisfaction or punishment, when you need my grace, it should actually feel like favor! The grace that I provide for you right now is the favor that says I am always proud of you, you are a son! I see you In my perfect Son. Well done simply for being in Him, those words are yours too. I can't love you anymore than I do right now because you already have RIGHT now the fullness of my favor, my affections; my love. You being healed from a sin or bondage or fulfilling any kind of dream or calling Isn't going to make me love you more or less. This covenant of ours relies on me an what I have done for you; about my faithfulness and not yours. "


Yes I believe God wants us to be healed of sin and he wants us to fulfill callings but what I am learning right now is how to know His love for me despite knowing or having those things. Those things will come for us because he is good! And he does what He promises! But I have been learning that the keys to breakthroughs are simply receiving the grace first. When we are receiving His love first, and accepting the truth into our hearts within that struggle that " I love you despite this and being healed of this is not going to make me love you more" that's when our hearts are just wrecked in His love and we just naturally fall more in love with Him and then in this reciprocation of more love for Him and more understanding of how much we are loved, those chains just fall off! Knowing his love for us loosens the chains and accepting his grace breaks them off!
The truth that has been wrecking me is Luke 7:36-50

"One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table.  And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment,  and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment.  Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”  And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him,“You have judged rightly.”  Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.  You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet.  You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.  Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”  And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”  Then those who were at table with him began to say among^[h] themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Wow. I will let you get lost in that truth and drink that in. Sooo good. It's not about the doing away with sin first, it's about falling more in love with Him by receiving his love first. When I mess up at loving Him and I need His grace, all the more practice I will get at receiving His grace for me and knowing more of Love!
When I ask for more love from Him, to know it more.. What am I really wanting and asking for? I am asking for situations where I am going to need His grace more and more, I am asking for low, desperate times, I am asking for pain and suffering. For loves sake, just to know His love.
Lord revise in our hearts what we ask for, awaken our eyes to grace, to long for it, to be desperate for it, no matter what it costs us or what it may look like.